Chris Shott devotes this week's City Paper cover story to all the lewd restaurant bathrooms in DC, spending considerable time describing the full-frontal lady nudity in the men's bathroom at Proof, Eater's choice for Restaurant Bathroom of the Year both here in DC and nationwide. Here are some of the best and/or creepiest lines:
Lede of the Year: "Some people are just plain put off by the sight of God with a raging erection."
Owner Alan Popovsky on Lincoln's bathroom: "One well-manicured hand rests on the disembodied dame’s upper thigh; the other hand disappears into the shady crevasse between her crossed legs. 'I think guys are going to really enjoy it,' says Popovsky."
Describing Thunder Burger's bathroom: "The two cartoonish women depicted therein are entirely nude, save for the bright red flowers protruding from their nether regions."
On Proof's bathroom: "In fact, if you step up to one of these urinals, her buttocks appear right in your face as you try to pee."
Also on Proof's bathroom: "Now both butts hover over the flushers at Proof."
One woman really enjoys Estadio's bathroom, which features Cristiano Ronaldo: "In a shirtless and sweaty pose, Christiano had my husband waiting a little longer at our table for my return while I admired the artwork!"
A TMI moment: "The business of feeding our hunger in an uncertain age seems to involve no small number of opportunities to play on nostalgia for childhood. And I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, it was the bathroom—not the laptop—where smut was surreptitiously viewed."
How Cafe Saint-Ex came up with their bathroom concept: "We know that in the men’s room, it’s going to be dudes coming in here. So I’ll glue up a couple of spanking cards from a London phone booth."