Chris Shott Finds an Excuse to Write About Naked Ladies

Chris Shott devotes this week's City Paper cover story to all the lewd restaurant bathrooms in DC, spending considerable time describing the full-frontal lady nudity in the men's bathroom at Proof, Eater's choice for Restaurant Bathroom of the Year both here in DC and nationwide. Here are some of the best and/or creepiest lines:

Lede of the Year: "Some people are just plain put off by the sight of God with a raging erection."

Owner Alan Popovsky on Lincoln's bathroom: "One well-manicured hand rests on the disembodied dame’s upper thigh; the other hand disappears into the shady crevasse between her crossed legs. 'I think guys are going to really enjoy it,' says Popovsky."

Describing Thunder Burger's bathroom: "The two cartoonish women depicted therein are entirely nude, save for the bright red flowers protruding from their nether regions."

On Proof's bathroom: "In fact, if you step up to one of these urinals, her buttocks appear right in your face as you try to pee."

Also on Proof's bathroom: "Now both butts hover over the flushers at Proof."

One woman really enjoys Estadio's bathroom, which features Cristiano Ronaldo: "In a shirtless and sweaty pose, Christiano had my husband waiting a little longer at our table for my return while I admired the artwork!"

A TMI moment: "The business of feeding our hunger in an uncertain age seems to involve no small number of opportunities to play on nostalgia for childhood. And I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, it was the bathroom—not the laptop—where smut was surreptitiously viewed."

How Cafe Saint-Ex came up with their bathroom concept: "We know that in the men’s room, it’s going to be dudes coming in here. So I’ll glue up a couple of spanking cards from a London phone booth."

· Pondering the Smuttiness of DC's Restaurant Bathrooms [WCP]