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DC's dive bars just aren't dive-y enough for Tim Carman. The WaPo writer, inspired (or otherwise) by Eater's list of Iconic Dive Bars, laments the lack of honest-to-goodness dives in the DC area. With some suggestions more sincere than others, he offers some criteria for a bar to be truly considered a dive: the cops should come once a year to break up a fight, there should still be a cigarette machine in the corner and the bathroom should inspire some trepidation. And for god's sake, do not order a single malt. [WaPo]