Lance Armstrong Inspires Joe Englert to Write Satire

Bar owner. H Street pioneer. Blogger.

Joe Englert is clearly fired up about Lance Armstrong's Oprah confessional. The nightlife mogul has taken on the role of Huffington Post columnist in order to satirize the scandal. Englert writes an open letter to Oprah confessing his own 18 recent sins, from cheating on his diet to lying to the CVS clerk.

Of course, these aren't all my sins, just the ones sitting on the top of my conscience. Will send more later if you request. Thanks, Oprah. It's good to get things off my chest and I hope my candidness does not cost me a single sponsorship.

Are these actual Englert transgressions? Unclear. But if they are — come on, Joe. Leave the cell phone off until the terrorism-themed movie is over.

· 18 Things I Want to Confess to Oprah [HuffPo]
· All Previous Joe Englert Coverage [-EDC-]