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Tequenos at Arepa Zone
Tequenos at Arepa Zone
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Indulge With These 13 Fast-Casual Calorie Bombs

Everyone needs a treat

by China Riddle
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Tequenos at Arepa Zone
| Facebook
by China Riddle

Eaters know life is all about balance. Monday through Thursday is filled with kale, cardio, and calorie counting. When Friday hits, however, the dreaded weekly diet blows up thanks to everyone’s favorite item — the calorie bomb.

What better way to reward four days of healthy eating than with an ungodly amount of delicious fat and carbs? Washingtonians have a world of fast-casual options for a quick Friday night calorie bomb before (or after) hitting the town. Some may not even make it to Friday, seeking solace on Thursday or even Wednesday from an onslaught of veggies and lentils. Why? Because calorie bombs aren’t just diet detonators – they're harbingers of happiness.

Whether it’s an all-nighter on the Hill, a miserable metro ride with tourists, or a painful Nats loss, it’s nothing a doughnut fried chicken sandwich can’t fix. Whatever the occasion, happy or sad, these fast-casual calorie bombs are there. Unconvinced? There are always these healthy fast-casual restaurant items for contrast.

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Arepa Zone

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Located in Union Market, Arepa Zone offers Venezuelan favorites like tequenos and, of course, arepas. Order the jamon y queso for a grilled corn patty stuffed with ham and shredded queso fresco. Double the cheese by ordering teqenuos,Arepa Zone’s crunchy-on- the-outside, gooey-on- the-inside Venezuelan cheese sticks.

1309 5th St NE, Washington, D.C. 20002
(703) 314-9571
(703) 314-9571
Facebook

Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken

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Eaters can always count on this shop to provide what may be the mother of all calorie bombs – the doughnut and fried chicken sandwich. Offerings include buffalo or Old Bay fried chicken on a savory doughnut bun. To celebrate the kick-off of Nats season, Astro also served a half-smoke sausage with mustard and jalapeños on a donut bun.

1308 G St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 809-5565
(202) 809-5565

Also featured in:

Baked & Wired

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With cupcakes so big they’re dubbed “cakecups,” this Georgetown eatery is packed with calorie bombs. From Texas sheetcake cakecups, to caramel coconut pecan brownies and chocolate wafer ice cream sandwiched between two giant cookies, this is the place to go to ditch nutrition (but gain so much joy).

1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW, Washington, D.C. 20007
(202) 333-2500
(202) 333-2500
Baked & Wired/Yelp

Also featured in:

Bozzelli's Italian Deli

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While there are pizzas everywhere in the area, few are quite as calorically heavy as this Italian deli. Get the Mic Mac topped with macaroni, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and hot cherry peppers for a carb overload. Or, enter a meat and mayo-induced coma with the Big Casino with thinly sliced steak, pepperoni, fried onions, sweet peppers, mozzarella, and mayonnaise.

2600 Crystal Dr, Arlington, VA 22202
(571) 970-4570
(571) 970-4570
Rob O./Yelp

Bub and Pop's

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Forget calorie counting with this local favorite’s huge hoagies. Popular orders include Bub’s Italian Hoagie with Genoa salami, prosciutto, capicola, pepperoni, aged provolone, arugula, tomatoes, hoagie relish, mayo, Bub’s vinaigrette, and Pecorino Romano. Order this sammie with a side of kettle-cooked chips andhomemade French onion dip to fully demolish any diet.

1815 M St NW, Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 457-1111
(202) 457-1111
Chuck N./Yelp

Also featured in:

Buredo

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Fusing the best of Mexican and Asian cuisine, downtown’s Buredo can easily drop a caloric bomb with its Sofie roll – shrimp tempura, avocado, pickled cabbage, carrot, toasted sesame seeds, red tobiko, and Sriracha mayo.

825 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 670-6770
(202) 670-6770
Official

Also featured in:

Captain Cookie and the Milk Man

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With seven cookie options and three flavors of ice cream, eaters can find twelve ice cream cookie sandwich combinations at Captain Cookie. The regular cookies are quite large, but those looking to atomic bomb their calorie count can always order a frosted cookie cake.

2000 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
(202) 556-3396
(202) 556-3396
Sandy Y./Yelp

Goodies Frozen Custard & Treats

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While this eatery’s brick-and- mortar location is in National Harbor, Washingtonians can easily find their food truck downtown. The menu is full of calorie bombs, but the doughnut ice cream sandwiches reign supreme. Try the maple bacon doughnut sandwich with vanilla custard, or the red velvet custard topped with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate.

150 American Way #A, Oxon Hill, MD 20745
(202) 630-6455
(202) 630-6455
Facebook

Momofuku Milk Bar

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This hip bakery literally serves “bombs” decimating even the strictest of diets. The volcano bomb stuffs a dough ball with potato gratin, caramelized onions, pancetta, Benton’s bacon, and Gruyere cheese. Early morning eaters will opt for the bagel bomb, which fills bagel dough with bacon scallion cream cheese and tops it with everything bagel spice.

1090 I St NW, Washington, D.C. 20001
(855) 333-6455
(855) 333-6455
R. Lopez

Also featured in:

Rebellion DC

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This Dupont tavern is home to the Legacy Burge – Chef Travis Weiss’ calorie-bomb creation that changes weekly. Recent offerings include “Michael Finds Love” with two patties and Crown Royal honey pepperoni jam, or “Too Much Cheese Will Kill You” with two patties, American, provolone, Sriracha goat, mac and cheese, and Parmesan chips.

1836 18th Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20019
Rebellion/Yelp

Also featured in:

Red Apron Butchery

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Hit Red Apron’s butcheries in Penn Quarter or Merrifield for a loaded “haute dog” with the works like spicy mustard, ketchup, diced onion, homemade atomic (bomb?) whiz, bacon kraut, relish, and chili.

709 D St NW, Washington, D.C., 20004
(202) 524-5244
(202) 524-5244
Sarah S./Yelp

Also featured in:

Sugar Shack Donuts and Coffee

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From “Mammoth” doughnuts the size of a 12-inch pizza, to apple fritters stuffed with apple crisp cake doughnuts, to doughnuts filled with bacon, eggs and cheese, this nationally recognized chain always has a creative calorie bomb to offer.

804 N Henry St, Alexandria, VA 22314
(571) 406-4734
(571) 406-4734
Dave U./Yelp

Also featured in:

Taylor Gourmet

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Founded by Philly natives craving a taste for home, this hoagie shop is known for its seasonal sandwiches and the cult following behind its risotto balls. This spring try the truffle cheeseteak with beef ribeye, Dijon mustard, grilled onions and mushrooms, brie, arugula, aged Parmesan, and white truffle oil. Don’t forget the seasonal risotto balls with roasted corn, chives, bacon, hot and spicy pepper Jack cheese, and black pepper Parmesan dressing for dipping.

1910 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009
(202) 588-7117
(202) 588-7117
Matt A./Yelp

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Arepa Zone

1309 5th St NE, Washington, D.C. 20002

Located in Union Market, Arepa Zone offers Venezuelan favorites like tequenos and, of course, arepas. Order the jamon y queso for a grilled corn patty stuffed with ham and shredded queso fresco. Double the cheese by ordering teqenuos,Arepa Zone’s crunchy-on- the-outside, gooey-on- the-inside Venezuelan cheese sticks.

1309 5th St NE, Washington, D.C. 20002
(703) 314-9571
(703) 314-9571
Facebook

Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken

1308 G St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005

Eaters can always count on this shop to provide what may be the mother of all calorie bombs – the doughnut and fried chicken sandwich. Offerings include buffalo or Old Bay fried chicken on a savory doughnut bun. To celebrate the kick-off of Nats season, Astro also served a half-smoke sausage with mustard and jalapeños on a donut bun.

1308 G St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 809-5565
(202) 809-5565

Baked & Wired

1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW, Washington, D.C. 20007

With cupcakes so big they’re dubbed “cakecups,” this Georgetown eatery is packed with calorie bombs. From Texas sheetcake cakecups, to caramel coconut pecan brownies and chocolate wafer ice cream sandwiched between two giant cookies, this is the place to go to ditch nutrition (but gain so much joy).

1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW, Washington, D.C. 20007
(202) 333-2500
(202) 333-2500
Baked & Wired/Yelp

Bozzelli's Italian Deli

2600 Crystal Dr, Arlington, VA 22202

While there are pizzas everywhere in the area, few are quite as calorically heavy as this Italian deli. Get the Mic Mac topped with macaroni, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and hot cherry peppers for a carb overload. Or, enter a meat and mayo-induced coma with the Big Casino with thinly sliced steak, pepperoni, fried onions, sweet peppers, mozzarella, and mayonnaise.

2600 Crystal Dr, Arlington, VA 22202
(571) 970-4570
(571) 970-4570
Rob O./Yelp

Bub and Pop's

1815 M St NW, Washington, D.C. 20036

Forget calorie counting with this local favorite’s huge hoagies. Popular orders include Bub’s Italian Hoagie with Genoa salami, prosciutto, capicola, pepperoni, aged provolone, arugula, tomatoes, hoagie relish, mayo, Bub’s vinaigrette, and Pecorino Romano. Order this sammie with a side of kettle-cooked chips andhomemade French onion dip to fully demolish any diet.

1815 M St NW, Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 457-1111
(202) 457-1111
Chuck N./Yelp

Buredo

825 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005

Fusing the best of Mexican and Asian cuisine, downtown’s Buredo can easily drop a caloric bomb with its Sofie roll – shrimp tempura, avocado, pickled cabbage, carrot, toasted sesame seeds, red tobiko, and Sriracha mayo.

825 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 670-6770
(202) 670-6770
Official

Captain Cookie and the Milk Man

2000 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.

With seven cookie options and three flavors of ice cream, eaters can find twelve ice cream cookie sandwich combinations at Captain Cookie. The regular cookies are quite large, but those looking to atomic bomb their calorie count can always order a frosted cookie cake.

2000 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
(202) 556-3396
(202) 556-3396
Sandy Y./Yelp

Goodies Frozen Custard & Treats

150 American Way #A, Oxon Hill, MD 20745

While this eatery’s brick-and- mortar location is in National Harbor, Washingtonians can easily find their food truck downtown. The menu is full of calorie bombs, but the doughnut ice cream sandwiches reign supreme. Try the maple bacon doughnut sandwich with vanilla custard, or the red velvet custard topped with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate.

150 American Way #A, Oxon Hill, MD 20745
(202) 630-6455
(202) 630-6455
Facebook

Momofuku Milk Bar

1090 I St NW, Washington, D.C. 20001

This hip bakery literally serves “bombs” decimating even the strictest of diets. The volcano bomb stuffs a dough ball with potato gratin, caramelized onions, pancetta, Benton’s bacon, and Gruyere cheese. Early morning eaters will opt for the bagel bomb, which fills bagel dough with bacon scallion cream cheese and tops it with everything bagel spice.

1090 I St NW, Washington, D.C. 20001
(855) 333-6455
(855) 333-6455
R. Lopez

Rebellion DC

1836 18th Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20019

This Dupont tavern is home to the Legacy Burge – Chef Travis Weiss’ calorie-bomb creation that changes weekly. Recent offerings include “Michael Finds Love” with two patties and Crown Royal honey pepperoni jam, or “Too Much Cheese Will Kill You” with two patties, American, provolone, Sriracha goat, mac and cheese, and Parmesan chips.

1836 18th Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20019
Rebellion/Yelp

Red Apron Butchery

709 D St NW, Washington, D.C., 20004

Hit Red Apron’s butcheries in Penn Quarter or Merrifield for a loaded “haute dog” with the works like spicy mustard, ketchup, diced onion, homemade atomic (bomb?) whiz, bacon kraut, relish, and chili.

709 D St NW, Washington, D.C., 20004
(202) 524-5244
(202) 524-5244
Sarah S./Yelp

Sugar Shack Donuts and Coffee

804 N Henry St, Alexandria, VA 22314

From “Mammoth” doughnuts the size of a 12-inch pizza, to apple fritters stuffed with apple crisp cake doughnuts, to doughnuts filled with bacon, eggs and cheese, this nationally recognized chain always has a creative calorie bomb to offer.

804 N Henry St, Alexandria, VA 22314
(571) 406-4734
(571) 406-4734
Dave U./Yelp

Taylor Gourmet

1910 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009

Founded by Philly natives craving a taste for home, this hoagie shop is known for its seasonal sandwiches and the cult following behind its risotto balls. This spring try the truffle cheeseteak with beef ribeye, Dijon mustard, grilled onions and mushrooms, brie, arugula, aged Parmesan, and white truffle oil. Don’t forget the seasonal risotto balls with roasted corn, chives, bacon, hot and spicy pepper Jack cheese, and black pepper Parmesan dressing for dipping.

1910 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009
(202) 588-7117
(202) 588-7117
Matt A./Yelp

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