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Tequenos at Arepa Zone
Tequenos at Arepa Zone
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Indulge With These 13 Fast-Casual Calorie Bombs

Everyone needs a treat

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Tequenos at Arepa Zone
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Eaters know life is all about balance. Monday through Thursday is filled with kale, cardio, and calorie counting. When Friday hits, however, the dreaded weekly diet blows up thanks to everyone’s favorite item — the calorie bomb.

What better way to reward four days of healthy eating than with an ungodly amount of delicious fat and carbs? Washingtonians have a world of fast-casual options for a quick Friday night calorie bomb before (or after) hitting the town. Some may not even make it to Friday, seeking solace on Thursday or even Wednesday from an onslaught of veggies and lentils. Why? Because calorie bombs aren’t just diet detonators – they're harbingers of happiness.

Whether it’s an all-nighter on the Hill, a miserable metro ride with tourists, or a painful Nats loss, it’s nothing a doughnut fried chicken sandwich can’t fix. Whatever the occasion, happy or sad, these fast-casual calorie bombs are there. Unconvinced? There are always these healthy fast-casual restaurant items for contrast.

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Note: Restaurants on this map are listed geographically.

1. Arepa Zone

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1309 5th St NE
Washington, D.C. 20002
(703) 314-9571
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Located in Union Market, Arepa Zone offers Venezuelan favorites like tequenos and, of course, arepas. Order the jamon y queso for a grilled corn patty stuffed with ham and shredded queso fresco. Double the cheese by ordering teqenuos,Arepa Zone’s crunchy-on- the-outside, gooey-on- the-inside Venezuelan cheese sticks.

2. Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken

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1308 G St NW
Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 809-5565
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Eaters can always count on this shop to provide what may be the mother of all calorie bombs – the doughnut and fried chicken sandwich. Offerings include buffalo or Old Bay fried chicken on a savory doughnut bun. To celebrate the kick-off of Nats season, Astro also served a half-smoke sausage with mustard and jalapeños on a donut bun.

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  • 3. Baked & Wired

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    1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20007
    (202) 333-2500
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    With cupcakes so big they’re dubbed “cakecups,” this Georgetown eatery is packed with calorie bombs. From Texas sheetcake cakecups, to caramel coconut pecan brownies and chocolate wafer ice cream sandwiched between two giant cookies, this is the place to go to ditch nutrition (but gain so much joy).

    4. Bozzelli's Italian Deli

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    2600 Crystal Dr
    Arlington, VA 22202
    (571) 970-4570
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    While there are pizzas everywhere in the area, few are quite as calorically heavy as this Italian deli. Get the Mic Mac topped with macaroni, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and hot cherry peppers for a carb overload. Or, enter a meat and mayo-induced coma with the Big Casino with thinly sliced steak, pepperoni, fried onions, sweet peppers, mozzarella, and mayonnaise.

    5. Bub and Pop's

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    1815 M St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20036
    (202) 457-1111
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    Forget calorie counting with this local favorite’s huge hoagies. Popular orders include Bub’s Italian Hoagie with Genoa salami, prosciutto, capicola, pepperoni, aged provolone, arugula, tomatoes, hoagie relish, mayo, Bub’s vinaigrette, and Pecorino Romano. Order this sammie with a side of kettle-cooked chips andhomemade French onion dip to fully demolish any diet.

    6. Buredo

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    825 14th St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20005
    (202) 670-6770
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    Fusing the best of Mexican and Asian cuisine, downtown’s Buredo can easily drop a caloric bomb with its Sofie roll – shrimp tempura, avocado, pickled cabbage, carrot, toasted sesame seeds, red tobiko, and Sriracha mayo.

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    7. Captain Cookie and the Milk Man

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    2000 Pennsylvania Avenue
    Washington, D.C.
    (202) 556-3396
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    With seven cookie options and three flavors of ice cream, eaters can find twelve ice cream cookie sandwich combinations at Captain Cookie. The regular cookies are quite large, but those looking to atomic bomb their calorie count can always order a frosted cookie cake.

    8. Goodies Frozen Custard & Treats

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    150 American Way #A
    Oxon Hill, MD 20745
    (202) 630-6455
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    While this eatery’s brick-and- mortar location is in National Harbor, Washingtonians can easily find their food truck downtown. The menu is full of calorie bombs, but the doughnut ice cream sandwiches reign supreme. Try the maple bacon doughnut sandwich with vanilla custard, or the red velvet custard topped with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate.

    9. Momofuku Milk Bar

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    1090 I St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20001
    (855) 333-6455
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    This hip bakery literally serves “bombs” decimating even the strictest of diets. The volcano bomb stuffs a dough ball with potato gratin, caramelized onions, pancetta, Benton’s bacon, and Gruyere cheese. Early morning eaters will opt for the bagel bomb, which fills bagel dough with bacon scallion cream cheese and tops it with everything bagel spice.

    10. Rebellion DC

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    1836 18th Street NW
    Washington, D.C. 20019

    This Dupont tavern is home to the Legacy Burge – Chef Travis Weiss’ calorie-bomb creation that changes weekly. Recent offerings include “Michael Finds Love” with two patties and Crown Royal honey pepperoni jam, or “Too Much Cheese Will Kill You” with two patties, American, provolone, Sriracha goat, mac and cheese, and Parmesan chips.

    11. Red Apron Butchery

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    709 D St NW, Washington
    D.C., 20004
    (202) 524-5244
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    Hit Red Apron’s butcheries in Penn Quarter or Merrifield for a loaded “haute dog” with the works like spicy mustard, ketchup, diced onion, homemade atomic (bomb?) whiz, bacon kraut, relish, and chili.

    12. Sugar Shack Donuts and Coffee

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    804 N Henry St
    Alexandria, VA 22314
    (571) 406-4734
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    From “Mammoth” doughnuts the size of a 12-inch pizza, to apple fritters stuffed with apple crisp cake doughnuts, to doughnuts filled with bacon, eggs and cheese, this nationally recognized chain always has a creative calorie bomb to offer.

    13. Taylor Gourmet

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    1910 14th St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20009
    (202) 588-7117
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    Founded by Philly natives craving a taste for home, this hoagie shop is known for its seasonal sandwiches and the cult following behind its risotto balls. This spring try the truffle cheeseteak with beef ribeye, Dijon mustard, grilled onions and mushrooms, brie, arugula, aged Parmesan, and white truffle oil. Don’t forget the seasonal risotto balls with roasted corn, chives, bacon, hot and spicy pepper Jack cheese, and black pepper Parmesan dressing for dipping.

    1. Arepa Zone

    1309 5th St NE, Washington, D.C. 20002

    Located in Union Market, Arepa Zone offers Venezuelan favorites like tequenos and, of course, arepas. Order the jamon y queso for a grilled corn patty stuffed with ham and shredded queso fresco. Double the cheese by ordering teqenuos,Arepa Zone’s crunchy-on- the-outside, gooey-on- the-inside Venezuelan cheese sticks.

    1309 5th St NE
    Washington, D.C. 20002

    2. Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken

    1308 G St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005

    3. Baked & Wired

    1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW, Washington, D.C. 20007

    With cupcakes so big they’re dubbed “cakecups,” this Georgetown eatery is packed with calorie bombs. From Texas sheetcake cakecups, to caramel coconut pecan brownies and chocolate wafer ice cream sandwiched between two giant cookies, this is the place to go to ditch nutrition (but gain so much joy).

    1052 Thomas Jefferson St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20007

    4. Bozzelli's Italian Deli

    2600 Crystal Dr, Arlington, VA 22202

    While there are pizzas everywhere in the area, few are quite as calorically heavy as this Italian deli. Get the Mic Mac topped with macaroni, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and hot cherry peppers for a carb overload. Or, enter a meat and mayo-induced coma with the Big Casino with thinly sliced steak, pepperoni, fried onions, sweet peppers, mozzarella, and mayonnaise.

    2600 Crystal Dr
    Arlington, VA 22202

    5. Bub and Pop's

    1815 M St NW, Washington, D.C. 20036

    Forget calorie counting with this local favorite’s huge hoagies. Popular orders include Bub’s Italian Hoagie with Genoa salami, prosciutto, capicola, pepperoni, aged provolone, arugula, tomatoes, hoagie relish, mayo, Bub’s vinaigrette, and Pecorino Romano. Order this sammie with a side of kettle-cooked chips andhomemade French onion dip to fully demolish any diet.

    1815 M St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20036

    6. Buredo

    825 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
    Official

    Fusing the best of Mexican and Asian cuisine, downtown’s Buredo can easily drop a caloric bomb with its Sofie roll – shrimp tempura, avocado, pickled cabbage, carrot, toasted sesame seeds, red tobiko, and Sriracha mayo.

    825 14th St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20005

    7. Captain Cookie and the Milk Man

    2000 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.

    With seven cookie options and three flavors of ice cream, eaters can find twelve ice cream cookie sandwich combinations at Captain Cookie. The regular cookies are quite large, but those looking to atomic bomb their calorie count can always order a frosted cookie cake.

    2000 Pennsylvania Avenue
    Washington, D.C.

    8. Goodies Frozen Custard & Treats

    150 American Way #A, Oxon Hill, MD 20745

    While this eatery’s brick-and- mortar location is in National Harbor, Washingtonians can easily find their food truck downtown. The menu is full of calorie bombs, but the doughnut ice cream sandwiches reign supreme. Try the maple bacon doughnut sandwich with vanilla custard, or the red velvet custard topped with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate.

    150 American Way #A
    Oxon Hill, MD 20745

    9. Momofuku Milk Bar

    1090 I St NW, Washington, D.C. 20001

    This hip bakery literally serves “bombs” decimating even the strictest of diets. The volcano bomb stuffs a dough ball with potato gratin, caramelized onions, pancetta, Benton’s bacon, and Gruyere cheese. Early morning eaters will opt for the bagel bomb, which fills bagel dough with bacon scallion cream cheese and tops it with everything bagel spice.

    1090 I St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20001

    10. Rebellion DC

    1836 18th Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20019

    This Dupont tavern is home to the Legacy Burge – Chef Travis Weiss’ calorie-bomb creation that changes weekly. Recent offerings include “Michael Finds Love” with two patties and Crown Royal honey pepperoni jam, or “Too Much Cheese Will Kill You” with two patties, American, provolone, Sriracha goat, mac and cheese, and Parmesan chips.

    1836 18th Street NW
    Washington, D.C. 20019

    11. Red Apron Butchery

    709 D St NW, Washington, D.C., 20004

    Hit Red Apron’s butcheries in Penn Quarter or Merrifield for a loaded “haute dog” with the works like spicy mustard, ketchup, diced onion, homemade atomic (bomb?) whiz, bacon kraut, relish, and chili.

    709 D St NW, Washington
    D.C., 20004

    12. Sugar Shack Donuts and Coffee

    804 N Henry St, Alexandria, VA 22314

    From “Mammoth” doughnuts the size of a 12-inch pizza, to apple fritters stuffed with apple crisp cake doughnuts, to doughnuts filled with bacon, eggs and cheese, this nationally recognized chain always has a creative calorie bomb to offer.

    804 N Henry St
    Alexandria, VA 22314

    13. Taylor Gourmet

    1910 14th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20009

    Founded by Philly natives craving a taste for home, this hoagie shop is known for its seasonal sandwiches and the cult following behind its risotto balls. This spring try the truffle cheeseteak with beef ribeye, Dijon mustard, grilled onions and mushrooms, brie, arugula, aged Parmesan, and white truffle oil. Don’t forget the seasonal risotto balls with roasted corn, chives, bacon, hot and spicy pepper Jack cheese, and black pepper Parmesan dressing for dipping.

    1910 14th St NW
    Washington, D.C. 20009

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